Chapter II

I

Everyone goes through life as they please, and if you are intelligent, all the more reason not to give a damn about what others think of you. So you move about at your own pace, freely flying the flag that represents you, with your unalterable hallmarks: the unlit cigar, a mustache painted with black shoe polish, and an indescribable way of walking—moving in disproportionate, grotesque strides so that your personal brand is seared into the path of existence.

There was only one Julius Henry Marx. A unique man—so much so that after his parents made him, they broke the mold. However, there were several Grouchos, all of them artists and all of them brilliant: The comedian. The actor. The writer. The host. And above all, the Genius, who was the sum total of them all.

Above other prominent Marxists in human history (ranging from Lenin to Fidel Castro), there was him—undoubtedly the most original and amusing of them all.

Groucho was, without a doubt, a man of overflowing talent and a quick answer for everything, capable of leaving anyone who dared to engage in a dialectical face-off with him completely speechless.

He created a form of humor that can be defined in many ways, but labels matter little when it comes to entertaining one's neighbor—to making those in need laugh, freeing the sad from their melancholy, the disillusioned from their chains, and the bored from their tiresome daily routine, so they may be joyful, smile, and even laugh in the world’s damn face.

With Groucho and his brothers (especially Chico and Harpo, as the other two, Zeppo and Gummo, were merely family sidekicks—especially the latter, since Zeppo did appear in some of the early Marx films), many generations of fans of cinema and comedy have brightened their lives and, above all, laughed their heads off. In their world, comedy is queen and the Marx Brothers are the emperors of humor. Although everything in life has its moment, and reigns are never eternal—nothing is. That is why, when the film business came to an end for them in the mid-40s, it was time to reinvent themselves. The famous brothers sought separate paths, though deep down they were always inseparable; whenever life’s adverse circumstances (especially financial ones, and Chico’s in particular) demanded it, they reunited to perform, mostly on the small screen.

And it was thanks to television that Groucho returned to fame when he became a host (though he first did so on the radio, a medium where he also found success), eventually moving to TV with the aforementioned game show You Bet Your Life. He triumphed once again, reclaiming the (faded) glory of times past. That is the thing about geniuses: they tend to rise from their ashes, and just when the public buries them in oblivion, thinking they are washed up, they resurface triumphant like a Phoenix.

His time as a TV host also came to an end, though he continued to make various guest appearances on other programs. But when you have intelligence to spare, resources reveal themselves; Groucho became a writer, and in that facet, too, he achieved notoriety with his hilarious books. That is the beauty of a brain: when it works well, it supplies its owner with enough raw material so that the business of life, in its material sense, keeps feeding you, and in the intellectual realm, it keeps you alive so you don't run out of neurons. Unfortunately, even if you are a genius, the years do not pass without consequence; everything eventually deteriorates. Even the most luminous intelligence disappears or hides in some lost corner of memory. It is the law of life and Groucho was no exception, but let's not speak of sad things—it would be inappropriate when discussing one of the greatest comedians the world has ever produced. So let us laugh, take a breath, and continue.

I I

Groucho the author didn't just write books; he needed to vent the incessant content his imagination generated. Therefore, in addition to his books, he also wrote radio scripts and letters—a vast number of letters to family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. In all his writings, he always left a record of his intelligent and genuine sense of humor, though what has remained for posterity is a huge collection of phrases—always witty and ranging from biting and spicy to punchy and jovial...

And for a taste, here are a handful of them. Although there are so many that making a selection is nearly impossible, a single stitch can show the pattern. The authentic Marxist aroma is perfectly identifiable to anyone's nose (anyone with enough of a sense of humor to first smell it and then appreciate it) through quotes like the ones below, which, despite the time that has passed since the great comedian uttered them, remain relevant today.

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go into the other room and read a book.”

(Especially when those unwatchable programs appear on the small screen, where the lack of respect for others is increasingly evident and the total lack of manners among the panelists is constantly on display—not to mention the zero entertainment value offered by some pathetic characters of fleeting fame who frequent the screen, known simply for being the relative of a neighbor's friend who one night at a club shared a couple of sloppy kisses with a supporting actress from a series that airs at dawn on local TV and which, incidentally, isn't even watched by the families of the actors involved in it).

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.”

(Precisely what our homegrown politicians do today, with “3 for 1” statistics: for every three politicians, one is corrupt, and of the remaining honest ones, another is useless—so we are left with only one who is actually effective).

“It is silly to look under the bed. If your wife has a visitor, she is much more likely to hide him in the closet. I know a man who found so many people in the closet that he had to get a divorce just to get a place to hang his clothes.”

(Infidelity has been a classic theme since ancient times, an unquestionable reason for couples to break up—nothing strange there, except for those who think marriage is for life. How naive! Though I suspect no one believes that anymore; if they did, that person would be ignorant as well as naive.

And in these extramarital affairs, it is always curious to note that, generally, it is the unfaithful party—man or woman—who shows a total lack of consistency, as they are intolerant of infidelity when they are the ones being deceived, or in this case, cuckolded).

"I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception."

(Particularly when what you have before you is the face of evil represented by the racist, the homophobe, the bigot, the abuser, the xenophobe—and in general, whenever you see the face of that individual whose sole objective in life is to harm their neighbor. As if, from birth, they had a sort of diabolical mandate to tirelessly practice a single activity: screwing with people.

We should also consider those with a permanent wooden face when it comes to forgetting a face: those perpetually serious individuals who are incapable of smiling and who maintain a facial expression of disgust throughout their lives, as if they were always smelling something rotten—unaware that, in all likelihood, the thing that smells bad in their lives is themselves.)

“If you keep having birthdays, you'll eventually die. Kisses, Groucho.”

(Unfortunately, that doesn't change because it is the law of life; the more birthdays celebrated and candles blown out, the fewer anniversaries left to celebrate.)

   And may you keep blowing them out for a long time! It is what it is!

I I I

In addition to his movies—which perhaps time has treated a bit harshly, given how many years have passed since they were filmed—and aside from his books, which have aged much better, we have a fresher memory because it is closer in time: the television Groucho. He was older than the film Groucho, and when we turn to that immense and inexhaustible warehouse of moving images that the internet provides called YouTube, we can see Groucho the host on the already mentioned show You Bet Your Life (an unquestionable success that stayed on the air for eleven years with over two hundred broadcasts). It is undoubtedly a television gem ahead of its time, where Groucho gave free rein to his immense capacity to make both the live audience and the viewers at home laugh.

   Through Groucho’s show (because the show was undoubtedly him, and belonged to him), all sorts of contestants and famous people passed—from the former undefeated heavyweight champion of the world, Rocky Marciano, to the screen's most famous Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller, and the writer Ray Bradbury, author of the well-known and important works The Martian Chronicles and Fahrenheit 451, among many other celebrities. As an anecdotal note related to our country, the Spanish guest Sarita Heredia also attended—a Gypsy guitarist and dancer whose art marveled a surprised Groucho, who even braved dancing with her for a few seconds (well, the man was a character... even if flamenco certainly wasn't his thing).

And since geniuses also die, Groucho left planet Earth, perhaps to go to another dimension—possibly an exclusive Universe where talent, wit, and a sense of humor are valued above all else (let our fantasies fly, for that harms no one). But although he left, Marxism stayed with us forever (the real kind, not the political kind)—the kind that undoubtedly represents the best of intelligent humor, which is simultaneously corrosive and critical.

However, the figure of the man with glasses, the cigar in his mouth, and the painted mustache sometimes appears in the vision of those who have the necessary capacity (a scene where his brothers also share the foreground, with Chico pounding the piano and Harpo gently playing the harp) to materialize their dreams—even if those dreams are more characteristic of an overflowing imagination, madness, or both at once.

Welcome to Conversations with Julius.

You can read the novel chapter by chapter here on FIKA. But if the story hooks you and you don't want to wait for the next installments, you can enjoy the full novel on Amazon, available in eBook and print formats.

If you like what you read, leave a comment at the end of each chapter. I would love to hear your thoughts and theories and share this journey with you.

Thank you for being here.

If you want to discover more titles by the author, you can visit his website:

www.franlaviada.com